I'm Not Ashamed

I can honestly say I'm not ashamed to admit that I talk to myself at the grocery store.

It's just too hard not to...

You see a good deal and you say (out loud) "Ooh, ten for ten!"

or

You see what you think you need for a recipe so you say (out loud) "I guess that would work."

but then you think more about it

so you say (out loud, of course) "Well...I don't know."

I understand this may be more of  just a "thinking out loud" kind of thing

and not really a "I'm a crazy person talking to myself" kind of thing.

Either way, I don't judge people who talk to themselves at the grocery store and you shouldn't either!

And the reason I know I'm not alone...

As I was going to check out I walked past a woman (who was alone) and heard her say

"Ooh, buy one get one free!"

Not crazy. Case closed!

It's the Strangest Thing...

As soon as I begin a vacation from work for more than one week my intellectual level immediately drops.
It really is the strangest thing. 

It's as though my brain says "You're not going to really need me for a little while anyway, so I'm gonna hop on the next flight to the Bahamas!"
And I'm left here to fend for myself.

You think I'm exaggerating...
I have been on vacation now since Friday at 12:30pm.
In the last three days I have:

*Said the sentence, "I bet we maked someone's day."
*Taken three times to successfully start my car. (Which only involves pushing a button. Seriously, I don't even use a key!)
*Then said, "Third charm's a try!" 
*Spilled a glass of iced tea on my mom at Jason's Deli while telling a story and gesturing in a fashion that was, apparently, a bit too grand.

And my personal favorite...

*Walked into the women's restroom at Wal-Mart and thought "Why are there urinals in here?!"
.
.
.
Yeah...not the women's restroom.

This isn't even the first time this sort of pattern has occured.  Every summer I experience this as well.
It's immediate too, so I can't even prepare myself for all of the stupidity.
I'm sure worried about how I'm going to make it through the next two weeks.
Maybe my brain will decide to come back home because it doesn't want to be away from me for the holidays.
I hope so.

5 days and counting!!!

(P.S. Sorry if there are typos in this. You know why.)

I Literally Died

Really?
You literally died?  How is that exactly?

The word "literally" is just completely unnecessary. 

If you say, "There were literally a hundred bees on me!"  Trust me. We believe you.

100 bees, got it. No need for the literally.

If someone says, "I literally died from embarrassment!"  You wouldn't be here to tell us. 

You're dead.  From the embarrassment, so it seems.

It's like...if I were given the choice to either:

a.) Spend one day with someone who says "literally" in their casual conversations or

b.) Tear off one of my fingernails.

I'm picking option B without hesitation.

So please, dear readers, let's stop all this "literally" nonsense. If you are guilty of using this word, now's the time to stop.  Don't kid yourself by saying you'll only use it every now and again. 

You need to give it up. Cold turkey.

Everyone you say it to either understands you are serious or they think you are ridiculous for saying things like, "The line at the post office was so long, I literally waited for like five hours."

If we work together, we can make the world a place where our children can play outside without being confused by idiots using this horrible word incorrectly.

I hope you have enjoyed my Public Service Announcement. 

Tell your friends. Let's make it happen.

P.S. I'm still working hard to get "Thursday" changed to "Prefriday."

~Lauren: Making the world a better place, one ridiculous thing at a time.~



Tis the Season

Christmas is practically here.

There's only 12 days left.

Lights on our home are glowing.

Tree is up...and beautiful!

Cards were mailed.

Gifts have been purchased (well..not all of them, but most!)

The good times are upon us!

Time to laugh with family and friends.

Time to drive around with a (oh my gosh, best thing I've ever tasted) Carmel Apple Spice from Starbucks, listen to festive music and look at lights.

Did I mention time to laugh?

Speaking of laughing...

Did you notice my reflection in the ball ornament to the right of the "joy?"

Need a closer look?

.

.

.

Ya...

Josh likes to jump up and down like a yetti while I'm taking a picture

just to see if he can make into the reflection.

He's like that adorable spirit of light you find in a photo after you develop it.

...Well kinda :)

Hope you're all ready for the season!

Like a Retirement Community

Josh: "Honey, would you start eating meat again if we bought a bunch of cows and let them die of natural causes?"

Me:  "And we'd just have chickens and pigs too?"

Josh:  "It'd be like a retirement community!"

(*Insert my hysterical laughter.)

 

 

What a lovely new slogan...

Our home...where livestock comes to die!

.

.

.

It's ok to laugh, that's pretty hilarious...and never going to happen!

Well...probably not.

It's my Superpower.





Did you know I have a superpower?

Yes, when discussing superpowers it should be one word.

Well, I do.

Things get so busy at certain times of the year.

For a teacher, those crazy times are usually at the end of a quarter when you have to get 31 report cards done, 

attend meetings and workshops,

be ready for parent-teacher conferences,

 tackle a billion other things

AND...don't forget the simple task of continuing to teach those precious little beings, every single day.

With a list that seems to be a mile long, you may be thinking, "Wow.  She must be pulling out her hair."

But I'm not.

Not letting stress get to me is my superpower.

I knock out stress using only my mind!

POW!

I'm not sure where or how I absorbed this superpower,

(probably from my awesome, laid back dad)

but I like it.

We all have hidden superpowers.

Probably more than one.

Mine just happens to be a really cool one.

If you'd care to share what you think your superpower is, I do love comments.

------------------------------------------------------------

An actual conversation Josh and I had today...

Josh: Work was crazy. (He goes on to explain about all of the logistic-type parts and procedures and things he encountered during the day.

Me: Oh, ya? I talked to a mime today.

-------------------

True story. This is why I love working at an Arts school.

We integrate. It rocks.

A Sleeping Ferret = Me Laughing

Sometimes Josh sees a ferret in a pet stores sleeping in a very hilarious way. Then, he points it out to me and... of course I took a picture. It's very important for me to take pictures when I see something so shocking or hilarious because I would be doing the world a dis-service if I didn't share! Click here and scroll to the bottom of the post if you want to be reminded of the last funny pic I took.

Anyway...back to the ferret... see for yourself... priceless.

Sooo...we went to Las Vegas over October Break. Lemme take a minute to give October Break the full props it deserves. There is no greater week off that I am given as a teacher. It fully rivals Spring Break.

I love you October Break.

Ok, back to Vegas. It was fun. Like it always is. We stayed at the Luxor. It was cool.

We sampled many different (20 to be exact) kinds of soda from many different countries at Coke World. Just for the record: A beverage from Italy called Beverly tastes like poison if i could imagine what that would taste like. Super fun though.

We had a great vacation and on the way home while going through the Joshua Tree Forest I got to take an awesome picture of the silhouette of a tree against the sunset.

Good times.
How has your October been so far?

Supermodelquins!

I find it to be strange...

You see the Old Navy Supermodelquins all over the TV and you don't think anything of them. They are just another "mascot" associated with a brand.

Until you see them at the store with your own eyes! Now, I don't really shop at Old Navy so I am not around the stores frequently. Tonight I was walking past an Old Navy to go into Office Max and as I was walking past the window there was a small part of me that said "OMG, there they are in real life!! (even though they can't be in "real" life because they're plastic!!!) It's ok, I'm cool enough to admit that sometimes i'm a little lame. I'm sure you would feel the same way.

Auntie and Uncle Drifter

Do you and your husband ever speak in British accents for no reason??

No?

Ya, ya, us either.

:)

-------------------------------------------------------------

Here is an actual conversation that took place over the course of about 30 minutes between josh and I.

Josh: This place is dumb. (Talking about work)

Lauren: I'm sorry. I wish we didn't have to work.

Josh: I know! That'd be awesome.

How do you feel about being beatniks?

Lauren: Harley would make such a good hippie dog.

Josh: We could hang out a truck stops.

Lauren: And get fleas.

Josh: "So Josh, What did you do today?" "Oh, tried to talk the wife into being homeless."

Lauren: Aha ha ha. I really don't mind the idea of the lifestyle, I just don't like the idea of not sleeping in a bed. Call me spoiled!

Josh: But I like the idea of not having to be somewhere at a specific time.

Lauren: We still would. Even drifters keep appointments!

Josh: Would you ever expect a beatnik to be on time?

Lauren: No, but then again, people have stopped expecting us to be ontime!

The kids could call us Auntie and Uncle Drifter!

Josh: We could make them handmade bracelets for their birthdays.

Lauren: For their birthday's we could make them things like a collage of trash.

Ok, yours is a much better gift.

But we could make them handmade bracelets right now.

Josh: No we can't. We have jobs. We don't have that kind of extra time.

Josh: Ya, i'm jive to the lifestyle.

It was always my backup plan.

Lauren: How do you feel about arm pit hair?

Josh: Mine or Harley's?

Lauren: Mine. That's part of the lifestyle.

Josh: You'll have to get laser hair removal first.

Lauren: Well, that's really gonna push back the timeline.

Josh: Lasik for the both of us too.

Wow, being homeless is expensive!

Lauren: I prefer drifter over homeless.

Josh: I prefer beatnik.

Lauren: But some beatniks are very prissy with all their snapping and berets.

Josh: Oh, and I need a new acoustic too.

Lauren: Wow, it really is expensive to do nothing!

Lauren: Gotta work now. Thanks for that conversation!

Josh: There will be plenty of time to talk in front of the truckstops.

Just another reason why I know we're right for each other!

Random

So...i'm sitting here thinking "What should I do a blog post about?" No ideas...

Well, I guess it will just be full of things very random! Yes, that sounds fun!

1. Josh keeps asking me to make him Scotch Eggs. Could that just sound anymore gross? Anyway, here is what they are...

hardboiled egg

wrapped in sausage

rolled in bread crumbs

then...

deep fried.

Ewww.

Apparently, they should look something like this.

I would love to try making this for him, but let's be honest, I don't make things that are gross.

2. The Simpsons are turning 20. They rock.

Every moment in life worth remembering can be related to a time in Simpsons history.

3. Purple nails rock my world. No picture. I should have taken one, but oh well.
They are so pretty!

4. Remember the game Mall Madness?

I am dying to break out this gem and play it again! Any takers?

Lastly, I can't believe I forgot to post about this when it happened...

Picture this...

Josh and I are driving down the road when all of a sudden he says " Holy crap, you have to look inside that truck. "

"There are tassels hanging from the roof! "

So, since I know you would all do the same thing, what do i do?!

Pull out my camera, of course!

I know what you're thinking.

"How do I get that in my car?" mixed with a little "Man, they must get all the ladies!"

That's all for now!